There seems to be yet another election coming up soon, as there so often seems to be. Many people (okay, two) have asked me which candidate I plan to vote for.
Let's see . . . there's the incumbent who is intelligent, well educated, compassionate and progressive - all traits that the conservative republicans find repulsive and unforgivable. There hasn't been this much vehement right-wing hatred and loathing of a sitting president since the last time a democrat occupied the White House.
And then there's the conservative challenger. He's a religious family man with a successful business who actually understands what money is, where it comes from and what it's for. These are traits that the liberal democrats find repulsive and unforgivable. There hasn't been this much vehement left-wing hatred and loathing of a candidate since . . . since, let's see. . . probably since the last election.
So where do I stand? Well, here's the thing. A politician is not a person who cares anything about me, or about you. Politicians do not care about your issues or about my issues. They have no interest whatsoever in legalizing garden-gnome-marriage, or banning the environment, or whether or not we should fund birth-control for the endangered green-spotted gerbil-snail. Politicians do not care about jobs, taxes, trade, or about that dodgy foreign country you sometimes read about in magazines. Politicians are politicians because they care about one thing and one thing only.
Power. The getting and keeping of it.
When you vote for a politician, you vote for giving power to someone who wants it, who craves it more than anything else. And as Douglas Adams pointed out, someone who wants power that badly can under no circumstances be trusted with it. You vote for these politicians time after time, America, and time after time you have been disappointed, have you not? Admit it. Doesn't anyone but me see the trend emerging? That is why I cannot in good conscience support anyone who purports to be a politician.
"Okay, smart-ass, so what do you suggest we do?"
Fair enough. Anyone can complain, right? But who offers solutions?
I do. This is the solution: Vote for whomever. Doesn't matter - flip a coin if you really can't decide. In the end it won't make a hill of beans difference. When the "wrong" guy gets in, or even if the "right" guy wins but turns out to be a dud, and when the whole country goes to hell in a handkerchief, here's what you do:
Turn off the TV news. Your life goes back to normal!
Eventually, people will get tired of this meaningless charade, this fake "democracy." Sooner or later it will all fall in a heap under its own ponderous, quivering bulk and it will be time for some changes.
For your convenience, should you or a nation you know encounter a "quivering heap event" or QHE, simply follow these easy steps for rebuilding society:
Step 1: The Jury-Duty model of leadership. Heads of State and other officials are chosen at random from the population for 6 - 12 month terms. This dispenses with the huge waste of time and money we facetiously call "elections" and makes public office completely incorruptible. People chosen at random are statistically guaranteed to be no more evil or incompetent on average than those potential Hitlers who now actively seek power for their own inscrutable ends.
Step 2: The Social-Media model of democratic governance. With communication and transport being what it was in the 18th century when nothing moved faster than the Speed of Horse, electing representatives was a necessary evil, a compromise of practicality. But with modern technology, such as The Telegraph, The Wireless, The Horse-less Carriage and other such modern inventions, why do we saddle ourselves (har!) with outmoded systems of government that we no longer need?
Why not throw off this fake democracy in which we vote for our favorite TV celebrity and bicker endlessly about which one of two middle-aged men we despise least (two men chosen for us by the Powers That Be, by the way)? Maybe our civilization is mature enough for real democracy, in which the Voice of the People directly makes all decisions of real consequence.
Wait a minute . . . Mature? Civilization? Yes, I see your point.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
A Winter Wonderland
It is now August and the height of the Southern Hemisphere winter. Well, it was when I started writing this post. It's actually September now. So sue me.
Winter in topsy-turvy Australia means that Bindoon looks something like this:
.JPG)
One notices, if one looks closely at the above photograph, the peculiar absence of snow, ice, or frozen water crystals of any kind whatsoever. This anomaly can be explained by the fact that the temperature is about 70 F.
The hills and pastures of Bindoon, Western Australia are as green as anyone could wish at the moment. WA's winter is better than some countries' actual summer. At the Shed, too, we find a Winter Wonderland consisting mainly of wildflowers and bees.
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
Winter in topsy-turvy Australia means that Bindoon looks something like this:
.JPG)
One notices, if one looks closely at the above photograph, the peculiar absence of snow, ice, or frozen water crystals of any kind whatsoever. This anomaly can be explained by the fact that the temperature is about 70 F.
The hills and pastures of Bindoon, Western Australia are as green as anyone could wish at the moment. WA's winter is better than some countries' actual summer. At the Shed, too, we find a Winter Wonderland consisting mainly of wildflowers and bees.
.JPG)
.JPG)
Bindoon is a cattle and citrus area, and is particularly known for its excellent Mandarins. And this has given me an idea. As anyone knows who has studied the film, The World's Fastest Indian
,
no shed can be complete without its own lemon tree. If the whole world's economy collapses and I am somehow reduced to surviving at the Shed, it would be rather embarrassing to be done in by something as ignominious and preventable as Scurvy. Therefore:
,
no shed can be complete without its own lemon tree. If the whole world's economy collapses and I am somehow reduced to surviving at the Shed, it would be rather embarrassing to be done in by something as ignominious and preventable as Scurvy. Therefore:.JPG)
One Lemon Tree. In planting this tree I was ably assisted by this small black centipede. Though perhaps "ably assisted" is not 100% on the mark. Perhaps I should say "not significantly hindered" which amounts to more or less the same thing.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
"All Knowledge is Subjective..."
. . . is an example of an objectively falsifiable statement. And a particularly easy one to falsify, at that. All it takes is one example of knowledge that is objective, in other words, universal and independent of who is doing the knowing. The fact that an objective, knowable reality exists is the ultimate counter-example to this popular statement.
"Tautology!" you say? Ok, I'll provide as many additional counter-examples as you wish later on. First, let's try to understand what the objective reality even is. Ironically enough, the story begins inside the totally subjective human brain.
Nothing we experience is real. All we experience with the ten senses (and the additional ten internal senses, making twenty in all) is a virtual re-creation of what your brain thinks is real that it projects onto your consciousness: an illusion of reality, and not always a particularly accurate one. All our awareness of and experiences with reality are gained indirectly at best, for the simple and obvious reason that we need a brain in order to be conscious of anything.
Are your eyes recording everything visual around you? They are not. The high-definition dynamic image you think you "see" now is really a re-creation of information your brain has collected, with occasional reference points and updates (3 per second or so) gleaned from the optic nerves and from other sensory input. You "see" with your eyes, nose, ears, sense of touch, etc., but you mostly "see" with your brain. Want proof? Ok - here it is. You can see perfectly well in the dark with your eyes closed. You do it every time you dream.
Color can physiologically only be perceived in the fovea, that tiny dense circle of photoreceptors at the center of the eye with which you are reading these letters now. You can't quite make out the words that you aren't looking directly at, can you, because only the fovea has enough "megapixels" to clearly resolve them. It also has the only color receptors in your entire eyeball. The colors that you "see" in your peripheral vision are not being seen directly by you now; they are only the memory of the colors that you saw there before.
Pain is another illusion created entirely by the brain. When you stub your toe, it hurts. The pain feels completely real. That is the power of the brain's capacity to create illusion: it seems completely real because the brain is the only way you have of experiencing anything at all, real or otherwise. In reality, your actual toe feels perfectly fine. It does not experience pain; it has no consciousness with which to make that judgement. The pain exists only in the brain's virtual re-creation of your body, called the body schema. Pain is there only to tell you to watch where you are going next time, but it can become a habit. Few people are aware that they can switch it off at will, and some people are even offended when told they have this ability.
Incidentally, there are numerous crazy ways that "body schema" makes itself known to us: through bulimia - the belief that a thin body is actually fat, "phantom limb syndrome" of amputees, "foreign limb syndrome" where people feel so uncomfortable with a particular arm or leg that they cut it off, and other hallucinations about the body.
The brain creates your own personalized version of reality in other ways, too, that people are not often naturally aware of. The filtration system at the center of your brain, called the Reticular Activating System or RAS, only lets through a tiny proportion of the information it receives every second, with the "tuning" of this filter under the control of your unconscious mind. It thinks it knows what trickle of items are important for you to be consciously aware of, and "protects" you from a veritable firehose of sensory input it deems irrelevant. Another secret of the brain that people are often disturbed to be told about is the fact that you can, with practice, consciously "tune" your RAS to the things that you willfully decide are important for you.
With the brain's virtual reality engine the only link your consciousness has to the "outside" world, people can be forgiven for concluding that there is no reality outside, and that "all knowledge is subjective." But that doesn't make them any less wrong.
But distinguishing between reality and illusion with any certainty does take discipline and effort. One has to disbelieve almost everything, or at least only "conditionally accept" what your brain tells you, pending independent verification. Through this process, you can come to know that there is an objective universe out there, consisting of matter and energy.
There exists, for example, particles designated "electrons" which have a mass (at rest) of between 9.109382910x10-31 kg and 9.109382918x10-31 kg, and this range is 99.99% certain. They also repel other electrons with a force that is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This is an example of what we call a "law" of the objective reality nicknamed "Nature."
Disciplined humans peeling back the biases and re-creations of the subjective mind have discovered this information independently all over the world. Also, there is strong evidence that these electrons exist in even the most distant galaxies as far away and as far back in time as our machines, which have no subjective mind or consciousness, can detect.
Some subjective minds have labelled this discipline "science" meaning "knowledge," and have dismissed it as just another illusion created by the subjective mind. While the discipline may be a human invention, the knowledge uncovered is not invention but discovery. You may travel to a city in a car that belongs to you, but the city it takes you to does not therefore also belong to you.
People who insist that there is no objective knowledge are only speaking for themselves in their own undisciplined, disinterested ignorance. But in a sense, they are right: there is no objective knowledge that they are aware of.
.
"Tautology!" you say? Ok, I'll provide as many additional counter-examples as you wish later on. First, let's try to understand what the objective reality even is. Ironically enough, the story begins inside the totally subjective human brain.
The Subjective Brain
 |
| we need this brain |
Are your eyes recording everything visual around you? They are not. The high-definition dynamic image you think you "see" now is really a re-creation of information your brain has collected, with occasional reference points and updates (3 per second or so) gleaned from the optic nerves and from other sensory input. You "see" with your eyes, nose, ears, sense of touch, etc., but you mostly "see" with your brain. Want proof? Ok - here it is. You can see perfectly well in the dark with your eyes closed. You do it every time you dream.
Color can physiologically only be perceived in the fovea, that tiny dense circle of photoreceptors at the center of the eye with which you are reading these letters now. You can't quite make out the words that you aren't looking directly at, can you, because only the fovea has enough "megapixels" to clearly resolve them. It also has the only color receptors in your entire eyeball. The colors that you "see" in your peripheral vision are not being seen directly by you now; they are only the memory of the colors that you saw there before.
Pain is another illusion created entirely by the brain. When you stub your toe, it hurts. The pain feels completely real. That is the power of the brain's capacity to create illusion: it seems completely real because the brain is the only way you have of experiencing anything at all, real or otherwise. In reality, your actual toe feels perfectly fine. It does not experience pain; it has no consciousness with which to make that judgement. The pain exists only in the brain's virtual re-creation of your body, called the body schema. Pain is there only to tell you to watch where you are going next time, but it can become a habit. Few people are aware that they can switch it off at will, and some people are even offended when told they have this ability.
Incidentally, there are numerous crazy ways that "body schema" makes itself known to us: through bulimia - the belief that a thin body is actually fat, "phantom limb syndrome" of amputees, "foreign limb syndrome" where people feel so uncomfortable with a particular arm or leg that they cut it off, and other hallucinations about the body.
The brain creates your own personalized version of reality in other ways, too, that people are not often naturally aware of. The filtration system at the center of your brain, called the Reticular Activating System or RAS, only lets through a tiny proportion of the information it receives every second, with the "tuning" of this filter under the control of your unconscious mind. It thinks it knows what trickle of items are important for you to be consciously aware of, and "protects" you from a veritable firehose of sensory input it deems irrelevant. Another secret of the brain that people are often disturbed to be told about is the fact that you can, with practice, consciously "tune" your RAS to the things that you willfully decide are important for you.
With the brain's virtual reality engine the only link your consciousness has to the "outside" world, people can be forgiven for concluding that there is no reality outside, and that "all knowledge is subjective." But that doesn't make them any less wrong.
The Objective Universe
Life in this world is a never-ending experiment in which we probe, test, examine and manipulate reality. I can paint a wall blue, and wait. Sooner or later another consciousness will bring itself to my attention and insist that the wall over there has been painted blue. Yup. I did that. I manipulated Objective Reality. I wouldn't be able to do that if it didn't exist.But distinguishing between reality and illusion with any certainty does take discipline and effort. One has to disbelieve almost everything, or at least only "conditionally accept" what your brain tells you, pending independent verification. Through this process, you can come to know that there is an objective universe out there, consisting of matter and energy.
There exists, for example, particles designated "electrons" which have a mass (at rest) of between 9.109382910x10-31 kg and 9.109382918x10-31 kg, and this range is 99.99% certain. They also repel other electrons with a force that is inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This is an example of what we call a "law" of the objective reality nicknamed "Nature."
Disciplined humans peeling back the biases and re-creations of the subjective mind have discovered this information independently all over the world. Also, there is strong evidence that these electrons exist in even the most distant galaxies as far away and as far back in time as our machines, which have no subjective mind or consciousness, can detect.
Some subjective minds have labelled this discipline "science" meaning "knowledge," and have dismissed it as just another illusion created by the subjective mind. While the discipline may be a human invention, the knowledge uncovered is not invention but discovery. You may travel to a city in a car that belongs to you, but the city it takes you to does not therefore also belong to you.
People who insist that there is no objective knowledge are only speaking for themselves in their own undisciplined, disinterested ignorance. But in a sense, they are right: there is no objective knowledge that they are aware of.
.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
You're Fired!
Fire is an integral part of life in Australia. One thing the western US and Australia have in common is the almost annual occurrence of catastrophic wildfires (called bushfires here). People die, homes and property are destroyed, and millions of dollars are spent fighting this force of nature.
In Australia, fire is so much a part of life that it would be incorrect to say most native plants are adapted to fire. Actually, most native plants are entirely reliant on fire. Often it is part of their reproductive cycle: certain compounds found in smoke trigger molecular switches in seeds that signal it to begin germination.
Living in such an environment means that humans, too, must become at least somewhat adapted to fire as a reality. It is a continual process, starting mostly in winter (the rainy season), when Australians who know what's go going on go out and light small, controlled fires to reduce the fuel burden on their property. In most rural/residential areas, this is compulsory, and non-compliers receive a burn notice, then a fine if no action is taken, then a visit from the fire brigade, then a bill for their services.
In Australia, fire is so much a part of life that it would be incorrect to say most native plants are adapted to fire. Actually, most native plants are entirely reliant on fire. Often it is part of their reproductive cycle: certain compounds found in smoke trigger molecular switches in seeds that signal it to begin germination.
Living in such an environment means that humans, too, must become at least somewhat adapted to fire as a reality. It is a continual process, starting mostly in winter (the rainy season), when Australians who know what's go going on go out and light small, controlled fires to reduce the fuel burden on their property. In most rural/residential areas, this is compulsory, and non-compliers receive a burn notice, then a fine if no action is taken, then a visit from the fire brigade, then a bill for their services.
The above photo was taken during a "hot burn" a few years ago at the Shed. It left an eerie moon-scape the following day. But the next year, the block was as green and lush as ever.
This wet season, instead of setting the entire block on fire, I've been doing a series of small fuel burden reduction burns of leaf piles and other specific hazards. One such hazard is a large Grass Tree that has not been burned in at least a decade, and which is uncomfortably close to the shed.
Grass Trees are a primitive Australian plant belonging to the order Xanthorrhoea which can live for hundreds of years. Their closest relatives are the Joshua Tree, the Yucca plant, and for some reason, Asparagus. The video below shows the correct procedure for reducing the fire hazard of a Grass Tree. It may appear as though I am murdering the plant, but try to remember that, like a Phoenix bird, they actually LIKE fire. It's good for them. In a few months it will look healthier than ever in spite of (or because of?) this immolation.
Keep in mind that this is NOT mindless arson. This is carefully planned, skillfully executed, legally required and necessary bushfire prevention.
Burn baby, burn!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Engineering's Grand Unified Theory
Physics has been in the news lately for what seems quite likely to be the historic discovery of the Higgs' Boson. As the study of naturally occurring systems, Physics has exposed Nature's FOUR fundamental ways of acting: the Electromagnetic/Weak Nuclear field, the unimaginatively-named Strong Nuclear field, the Gravitational field, and the Higgs field.
A "field" is no aether-like pervasive substance, but more like a conceptual framework which can give rise to a physical force or manifestation when tickled in just the right way. In everyday life, almost every way we interact with matter is mediated one way or the other by the Electromagnetic field. Other than "failing to fall into space," obviously. Even standing on the Earth and not plunging through it into the hot lava roiling beneath our feet is accomplished by the electrostatic forces between atoms resisting Gravity's pull of our bodies towards the earth's center.
Engineering is analogous to Physics in several ways. It is also the scientific study of systems, but of man-made ones rather than strictly natural ones. Some man-made systems are subject to the same laws of Nature that Physics has exposed to view, and these are the kinds that interest most engineers. Other man-made systems like The Republican Party, The Stock Exchange and Glee follow no discernible pattern, and there is really no point in even trying to understand them.
Like Physics, Engineering has four fundamental phenomena: Rocks, Sticks, String and Glue. Anything can be made or analyzed from the standpoint of these four basic engineering elements. However, the alert reader may be aware that this paradigm does not describe any fluid-like behaviors such as exhibited by liquids, gases, and plastics.
While Physics is still seeking a way to unify all four basic phenomena into one grand unified theory, or "Theory of Everything," Engineering has already succeeded at doing this.
The problem of designing a machine may appear on the surface to be one of getting parts to fit together and to move in a way that accomplishes something useful. Designing a bridge may look like an exercise in making everything screwed together tightly enough to not collapse in a slight breeze. Building a canal network, a rocket nozzle or a water pump may seem like coaxing as much fluid flow through a given point under as little pressure as possible. What can possibly be the single idea that unifies all these goals?
It is this: Engineering is all about the flow of stress. Stress is merely a reduced measure of force, force per unit area. In a bridge, forces flow from one part of the structure into others, and if you understand the flow of stress through Rocks, Sticks, String and Glue, you can build something that will support itself under all foreseeable loads.
In a machine, stress flows from one component to the next, and can carry energy with it. The purpose of machines is to convert energy from one form to another, and so understanding how stress flows through its components reveals whether or not the machine will do its job. And if not, why not.
In fluid systems, the flow of stress causes the flow of matter. Fluid dynamics is not, as even fourth-year engineering students might still believe, all about stuff moving around in pipes. In post-graduate courses one finally discovers that the real game is the diffusion of stress through the fluid and its boundaries, which merely manifests as stuff moving. In fluids, stress really causes the dispersal of momentum.
In an electrical circuit, stress in the form of voltage can build statically like stress in a bridge, or can flow in various ways like water in pipes. The key to understanding it is to study the evolution of voltage at all points in the circuit.
There seems to be a great dividing line between solids and fluids, but even then, unification is possible. The electronics analogy hints at this unification, since it is a system exhibiting both solid-like and fluid-like properties.
If you place a heavy brick on a table, the weight of the brick stresses the table's surface, and the stress flows through the table's top, into the legs, and down to the floor. The stress pattern will then stay there virtually forever, if your table is made of perfect, idealized solids.
But if you place that brick on the surface of a swimming pool, something quite different happens. As the brick makes its way to the bottom of the pool, stress flows out from it dispersing the brick's momentum throughout the water in the pool. Once the brick is resting on the bottom, the water gradually returns to a state of complete rest, and the stress and momentum are gone. Fluids require continual motion to sustain certain kinds of stress, while solids do not.
The key to really understanding engineering is the realization that everything is a little bit solid and a little bit fluid at the same time. Most things are so much one or the other that you can forget about the other part. That is, unless you want to really understand it. In a "fluid," shearing stresses dissipate quickly because the fluid does not really stick to itself very well. In solids, shear stress never dissipates at all, because the pieces of a solid are stuck to each other unless you pull hard enough.
And yet in both cases, stress - whether shear or compressive - always seeks the most even distribution possible. In doing so, stress causes forces to redistribute (as in a structure), energy to flow and transform (as in a machine), or momentum to disperse (as in a fluid system.)
And that is all there really is to know about engineering!
Perhaps we engineers will one day discover our version of the elusive "Higgs" particle and finally be able to understand humans as well. Particularly humans of the female girl variety.
A "field" is no aether-like pervasive substance, but more like a conceptual framework which can give rise to a physical force or manifestation when tickled in just the right way. In everyday life, almost every way we interact with matter is mediated one way or the other by the Electromagnetic field. Other than "failing to fall into space," obviously. Even standing on the Earth and not plunging through it into the hot lava roiling beneath our feet is accomplished by the electrostatic forces between atoms resisting Gravity's pull of our bodies towards the earth's center.
Engineering is analogous to Physics in several ways. It is also the scientific study of systems, but of man-made ones rather than strictly natural ones. Some man-made systems are subject to the same laws of Nature that Physics has exposed to view, and these are the kinds that interest most engineers. Other man-made systems like The Republican Party, The Stock Exchange and Glee follow no discernible pattern, and there is really no point in even trying to understand them.
Like Physics, Engineering has four fundamental phenomena: Rocks, Sticks, String and Glue. Anything can be made or analyzed from the standpoint of these four basic engineering elements. However, the alert reader may be aware that this paradigm does not describe any fluid-like behaviors such as exhibited by liquids, gases, and plastics.
While Physics is still seeking a way to unify all four basic phenomena into one grand unified theory, or "Theory of Everything," Engineering has already succeeded at doing this.
The problem of designing a machine may appear on the surface to be one of getting parts to fit together and to move in a way that accomplishes something useful. Designing a bridge may look like an exercise in making everything screwed together tightly enough to not collapse in a slight breeze. Building a canal network, a rocket nozzle or a water pump may seem like coaxing as much fluid flow through a given point under as little pressure as possible. What can possibly be the single idea that unifies all these goals?
It is this: Engineering is all about the flow of stress. Stress is merely a reduced measure of force, force per unit area. In a bridge, forces flow from one part of the structure into others, and if you understand the flow of stress through Rocks, Sticks, String and Glue, you can build something that will support itself under all foreseeable loads.
In a machine, stress flows from one component to the next, and can carry energy with it. The purpose of machines is to convert energy from one form to another, and so understanding how stress flows through its components reveals whether or not the machine will do its job. And if not, why not.
In fluid systems, the flow of stress causes the flow of matter. Fluid dynamics is not, as even fourth-year engineering students might still believe, all about stuff moving around in pipes. In post-graduate courses one finally discovers that the real game is the diffusion of stress through the fluid and its boundaries, which merely manifests as stuff moving. In fluids, stress really causes the dispersal of momentum.
In an electrical circuit, stress in the form of voltage can build statically like stress in a bridge, or can flow in various ways like water in pipes. The key to understanding it is to study the evolution of voltage at all points in the circuit.
There seems to be a great dividing line between solids and fluids, but even then, unification is possible. The electronics analogy hints at this unification, since it is a system exhibiting both solid-like and fluid-like properties.
If you place a heavy brick on a table, the weight of the brick stresses the table's surface, and the stress flows through the table's top, into the legs, and down to the floor. The stress pattern will then stay there virtually forever, if your table is made of perfect, idealized solids.
But if you place that brick on the surface of a swimming pool, something quite different happens. As the brick makes its way to the bottom of the pool, stress flows out from it dispersing the brick's momentum throughout the water in the pool. Once the brick is resting on the bottom, the water gradually returns to a state of complete rest, and the stress and momentum are gone. Fluids require continual motion to sustain certain kinds of stress, while solids do not.
The key to really understanding engineering is the realization that everything is a little bit solid and a little bit fluid at the same time. Most things are so much one or the other that you can forget about the other part. That is, unless you want to really understand it. In a "fluid," shearing stresses dissipate quickly because the fluid does not really stick to itself very well. In solids, shear stress never dissipates at all, because the pieces of a solid are stuck to each other unless you pull hard enough.
And yet in both cases, stress - whether shear or compressive - always seeks the most even distribution possible. In doing so, stress causes forces to redistribute (as in a structure), energy to flow and transform (as in a machine), or momentum to disperse (as in a fluid system.)
And that is all there really is to know about engineering!
Perhaps we engineers will one day discover our version of the elusive "Higgs" particle and finally be able to understand humans as well. Particularly humans of the female girl variety.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
American Health Care Is Stupid
Yes, you read that correctly. I know you were expecting the title to be "Australian Health Care Is Weird" because that be more in line with the overall tenor of this blog. But this is one area that I think Australia has a few things it could teach its bigger, fatter cousin to the north. And I'm not talking about China.
Obamacare, obamacare, obamacare!
In Australia, whether you're a permanent resident, a naturalized citizen, or a citizen by birth, YOU HAVE BASIC HEALTH INSURANCE. Automatically. For FREE!
All you have to do is walk in to your local Medicare office (or Mediocre if you're a smart-ass like me), fill out a form, and get a plastic card with your name and your Mediocre number embossed on it.
Then, anytime you feel yourself coming down with a broken leg, a brain tumor, ADHD or the Spanish Flu, you can make an appointment at any local family doctor of your choice (called a General Practitioner or "GP"), pay a few dollars and get it checked out.
If the "GP" has enough turnover to employ an office staff, then they might do something called "bulk billing." That means you pay only the $20 or so co-pay for the office visit, and the doctor sends Mediocre a bill for the rest. Otherwise, you pay the full bill, then later take it in to the Mediocre office yourself and get most of it refunded back to you.
Now, let's say you have a serious condition that requires a specialist. Acne, for example. Then, your GP would write a referral to a specialist, a Dermatologist in this case. (If you have Lizards, he might refer you to a Herpetologist.) With that referral, most of your costs incurred with that specialist are covered by Mediocre. But if you are content to pay out of your own pocket, you are perfectly at liberty to see any specialist anytime as much as you want without a referral.
Sounds like a Hypochondriac's Utopia, doesn't it. Well, it has some down sides too. Because it's almost free, it is sometimes over-used by idiots who smoke, drink, eat and screw themselves into poor health. Consequently there can be lengthy waits to get an appointment at a GP, get into the hospital, or to finally have that brain transplant you've been so desperately needing.
Also, Mediocre stipulates how much Mediocre money a doctor can receive for their mediocre services, and often this is below the doctors' costs. As in America, the cost of health care has risen dramatically as scientists have invented ever more expensive ways to not die a little longer. Consequently, most doctors only have enough time in your appointment (average length: 1 hour in the waiting room, 14 seconds in the "surgery" or examination room) to give you a randomly-generated prescription for some pills that may or may not make frogs grow out of your armpits.
In other words, "free" health care is no exception to the maxim that you get what you pay for.
That is why in Australia you also have many opportunities to purchase "private" health cover which gets you into the medical fast-lane, better hospitals, smarter doctors with better English skills and TWICE the amount of time (28 seconds) to give you a prescription for something guaranteed to make you go away and not bother him anymore.
Private health insurance in Australia costs about a tenth of what health insurance costs in the US. It also covers "unnecessary" extras like dentistry, hand-washing before surgery, and boob-jobs. Though what exactly constitutes "necessary" medical procedures is the subject of intense debate in pubs and bars across Australia.
Shouldn't America adopt a similar system? Perhaps not. Australia has just eight or nine states or territories (we're not sure if Christmas Island and the Cocos Islands count), and just 22 million residents. It's quite a different thing to administer a Mediocre-type system across 50+ states and 300 million people. There is a strong argument in favor of running these things on a State level under Federal laws. Except if you live in Arizona. In that case there's a strong argument in favor of moving to Colorado.
Another problematic issue is this. If someone is paying for your medical care, can that person reasonably have some say in what you can and can't do that may affect your health, and consequently your medical costs? I personally think that would only be fair. But good luck banning all the things that could put you in the hospital! Food, drink, drugs, tobacco, sex, sitting, standing, working, playing, walking, driving; virtually every aspect of life eventually comes under government control if we follow this line of reasoning.
But there is a solution!
My solution to the quandary of a single-payer health care system which does not simply reward idiots and bums while punishing healthy people with higher taxes is this: Free basic health care with a slight twist. If you drink, smoke, do drugs, overeat, don't exercise, are overweight, have unprotected sex, or are really, really accident-prone, you pay for the privilege and freedom of doing as you please with an extra co-pay for each voluntary behavior that increases the burden on the health care system.
When we examine the extraordinary costs of providing emergency-room care for the poor and the cost of interventions that would have been cheaper to fix sooner, then the single-payer system is the cheaper option by far, as long as you don't inadvertently reward behavior that makes people sick.
But in the end, as all of us will, you will eventually die. In Australia, it will almost certainly be in the jaws of a shark, crocodile or wombat. From this perspective, America's obsession with Obamacare seems a silly, silly, silly, silly silly thing to worry about.
Find out more. Understanding Australia's Health Care System:
Obamacare, obamacare, obamacare!
In Australia, whether you're a permanent resident, a naturalized citizen, or a citizen by birth, YOU HAVE BASIC HEALTH INSURANCE. Automatically. For FREE!
All you have to do is walk in to your local Medicare office (or Mediocre if you're a smart-ass like me), fill out a form, and get a plastic card with your name and your Mediocre number embossed on it.
Then, anytime you feel yourself coming down with a broken leg, a brain tumor, ADHD or the Spanish Flu, you can make an appointment at any local family doctor of your choice (called a General Practitioner or "GP"), pay a few dollars and get it checked out.
If the "GP" has enough turnover to employ an office staff, then they might do something called "bulk billing." That means you pay only the $20 or so co-pay for the office visit, and the doctor sends Mediocre a bill for the rest. Otherwise, you pay the full bill, then later take it in to the Mediocre office yourself and get most of it refunded back to you.
Now, let's say you have a serious condition that requires a specialist. Acne, for example. Then, your GP would write a referral to a specialist, a Dermatologist in this case. (If you have Lizards, he might refer you to a Herpetologist.) With that referral, most of your costs incurred with that specialist are covered by Mediocre. But if you are content to pay out of your own pocket, you are perfectly at liberty to see any specialist anytime as much as you want without a referral.
Sounds like a Hypochondriac's Utopia, doesn't it. Well, it has some down sides too. Because it's almost free, it is sometimes over-used by idiots who smoke, drink, eat and screw themselves into poor health. Consequently there can be lengthy waits to get an appointment at a GP, get into the hospital, or to finally have that brain transplant you've been so desperately needing.
Also, Mediocre stipulates how much Mediocre money a doctor can receive for their mediocre services, and often this is below the doctors' costs. As in America, the cost of health care has risen dramatically as scientists have invented ever more expensive ways to not die a little longer. Consequently, most doctors only have enough time in your appointment (average length: 1 hour in the waiting room, 14 seconds in the "surgery" or examination room) to give you a randomly-generated prescription for some pills that may or may not make frogs grow out of your armpits.
In other words, "free" health care is no exception to the maxim that you get what you pay for.
That is why in Australia you also have many opportunities to purchase "private" health cover which gets you into the medical fast-lane, better hospitals, smarter doctors with better English skills and TWICE the amount of time (28 seconds) to give you a prescription for something guaranteed to make you go away and not bother him anymore.
Private health insurance in Australia costs about a tenth of what health insurance costs in the US. It also covers "unnecessary" extras like dentistry, hand-washing before surgery, and boob-jobs. Though what exactly constitutes "necessary" medical procedures is the subject of intense debate in pubs and bars across Australia.
Shouldn't America adopt a similar system? Perhaps not. Australia has just eight or nine states or territories (we're not sure if Christmas Island and the Cocos Islands count), and just 22 million residents. It's quite a different thing to administer a Mediocre-type system across 50+ states and 300 million people. There is a strong argument in favor of running these things on a State level under Federal laws. Except if you live in Arizona. In that case there's a strong argument in favor of moving to Colorado.
Another problematic issue is this. If someone is paying for your medical care, can that person reasonably have some say in what you can and can't do that may affect your health, and consequently your medical costs? I personally think that would only be fair. But good luck banning all the things that could put you in the hospital! Food, drink, drugs, tobacco, sex, sitting, standing, working, playing, walking, driving; virtually every aspect of life eventually comes under government control if we follow this line of reasoning.
But there is a solution!
My solution to the quandary of a single-payer health care system which does not simply reward idiots and bums while punishing healthy people with higher taxes is this: Free basic health care with a slight twist. If you drink, smoke, do drugs, overeat, don't exercise, are overweight, have unprotected sex, or are really, really accident-prone, you pay for the privilege and freedom of doing as you please with an extra co-pay for each voluntary behavior that increases the burden on the health care system.
When we examine the extraordinary costs of providing emergency-room care for the poor and the cost of interventions that would have been cheaper to fix sooner, then the single-payer system is the cheaper option by far, as long as you don't inadvertently reward behavior that makes people sick.
But in the end, as all of us will, you will eventually die. In Australia, it will almost certainly be in the jaws of a shark, crocodile or wombat. From this perspective, America's obsession with Obamacare seems a silly, silly, silly, silly silly thing to worry about.
Find out more. Understanding Australia's Health Care System:
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The Ongoing Crisis
It's not the downward spiral of Europe's economy, or the surge in American socialism demanding that government pass more laws to make us all happy, nor is it the continuing domination of politics by the worst sort of people - the power-hungry. No, the real crisis isn't even the accelerating hypnosis and brain control of billions of people by the insipid, never-ending drama and drivel of television. None of those things affect me. I'm in Australia.
The only real crisis as far as I'm concerned is spiders. My projections show that at the current rate of breeding, in less than 1000 years the Australian continent will be completely covered one foot deep in writhing, creepy spiders. And that, my friends, is clearly one foot too many. Massive sea level rise would be luxury in comparison.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up in the morning, sat up, put my chilly feet straight into my house slippers without even checking in them first, and pulled an old wool sweater from a heap of clothes on the floor. Then with bleary, unfocused eyes I staggered in the general direction of the kitchen for some much-needed cereal. This being the southern hemisphere winter, it was not warm enough to eat cereal in only my underwear.
As I reached out with my left hand to grasp a spoon from the drawer of spoons, I noticed that there was, dangling awkwardly from a silken strand attached to the sleeve of my sweater, an immature Redback spider.
YI YI YI YIIIIIIAAA WAH WAH! Stomp stomp stomp.
NOW I was fully awake. I thought nothing more of this not-unusual Australian incident until about a week later. I noticed that my right shoulder had been strangely sore for too long to be just a pulled muscle from splitting firewood up at the shed the previous weekend. It felt not just sore, but lame. And oddly heavy. Strangely painful in ways I hadn't experienced before.
It felt achy when held in almost any position except pulled up against my neck. Sports cream, hot packs, massage, nothing made any difference. I began to wonder if perhaps, that morning in the kitchen, I might have been bitten by that Redback. I mean, not a full "rush me to the emergency room" bite, but just a nibble. A quick nip. Who can say how long that spider had been scrabbling around on or in that wool sweater, or where it had come from before that.
There was a raised red mark on the back of my upper arm, which I took to be a failed boil that never quite got going. But by no means was it at the center of the sore area. I suppose I will never know for sure, as the soreness/lameness/heaviness now enters its third week.
The alternative theory is that I was bitten by something else that I never knew about and that got away with it, or that I had perhaps experienced a very little, tiny, small stroke. Neither of these thoughts leaves me feeling any more in control of my life and destiny though. And so, lacking evidence, they must be dismissed on purely ontological grounds.
But if any new evidence were to come to light, you can be bet your sweet Hegelian tush that ontology will always yield to empiricism in everything. It always has, and always will. Yes, I'm talking to you, science denier! Your ontological objections to empirical truth are weak and purposeless. So there.
Wow! Philosophy really does have its uses. For a moment there I got so fired up about philosophical wrongheadedness that I completely forgot for the moment that my shoulder was hurting and that the whole country was covered in spiders.
The only real crisis as far as I'm concerned is spiders. My projections show that at the current rate of breeding, in less than 1000 years the Australian continent will be completely covered one foot deep in writhing, creepy spiders. And that, my friends, is clearly one foot too many. Massive sea level rise would be luxury in comparison.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up in the morning, sat up, put my chilly feet straight into my house slippers without even checking in them first, and pulled an old wool sweater from a heap of clothes on the floor. Then with bleary, unfocused eyes I staggered in the general direction of the kitchen for some much-needed cereal. This being the southern hemisphere winter, it was not warm enough to eat cereal in only my underwear.
As I reached out with my left hand to grasp a spoon from the drawer of spoons, I noticed that there was, dangling awkwardly from a silken strand attached to the sleeve of my sweater, an immature Redback spider.
YI YI YI YIIIIIIAAA WAH WAH! Stomp stomp stomp.
NOW I was fully awake. I thought nothing more of this not-unusual Australian incident until about a week later. I noticed that my right shoulder had been strangely sore for too long to be just a pulled muscle from splitting firewood up at the shed the previous weekend. It felt not just sore, but lame. And oddly heavy. Strangely painful in ways I hadn't experienced before.
It felt achy when held in almost any position except pulled up against my neck. Sports cream, hot packs, massage, nothing made any difference. I began to wonder if perhaps, that morning in the kitchen, I might have been bitten by that Redback. I mean, not a full "rush me to the emergency room" bite, but just a nibble. A quick nip. Who can say how long that spider had been scrabbling around on or in that wool sweater, or where it had come from before that.
There was a raised red mark on the back of my upper arm, which I took to be a failed boil that never quite got going. But by no means was it at the center of the sore area. I suppose I will never know for sure, as the soreness/lameness/heaviness now enters its third week.
The alternative theory is that I was bitten by something else that I never knew about and that got away with it, or that I had perhaps experienced a very little, tiny, small stroke. Neither of these thoughts leaves me feeling any more in control of my life and destiny though. And so, lacking evidence, they must be dismissed on purely ontological grounds.
But if any new evidence were to come to light, you can be bet your sweet Hegelian tush that ontology will always yield to empiricism in everything. It always has, and always will. Yes, I'm talking to you, science denier! Your ontological objections to empirical truth are weak and purposeless. So there.
Wow! Philosophy really does have its uses. For a moment there I got so fired up about philosophical wrongheadedness that I completely forgot for the moment that my shoulder was hurting and that the whole country was covered in spiders.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Why Australia Is Better
Australians love to travel overseas. Being an island, you can't travel outside Australia without going overseas, so that works out quite well.
Anyhow, the reason Australians love to travel overseas to foreign countries is that it reaffirms to them how much better Australia is compared to everywhere else. Oh, sure, there are some advantages to be found in foreign countries such as Europe, America and Bali. The shopping is usually better in every other country that I've ever been to. But the internet is quickly doing away with Australia's retail backwardness.
Some readers are concerned that I have been critical of Australia in past posts. Not so: I am merely enjoying the full extent of the humor that this odd place provides. But to assuage my many critics, here are just a few of the things that make Australia better than that dodgy place you've chosen to live.
Benefits of Australia:
1. Space. Consider, 0.3% of the world's population getting 4% of the world. Just under 23 million Australians share 3 million square miles. That's nearly the same population as Southern California, but in an area 53 times as big. We've got lots of elbow room! (Granted, large portions of it are uninhabitable crocodile-infested outback and the rest is covered in spiders, but I'm just saying, in theory we have that much space.)
2. Freedom. Starting your own business is relatively easy in Australia. Given the red tape, paperwork, restrictions, multiple layers of bureaucracy to wade through (city, county, state and federal) one encounters in the US, it's a miracle that any new businesses ever get going there at all. But in Australia, any reasonable person can set up a corporation, file the paperwork, and start an empire. This simplicity makes up for Australians being in other ways some of the most over-governed people on the planet with way more laws than are actually necessary. There is a widespread, unconscious belief that government holds the solution to every problem. Which, of course, is complete bollocks. There is also a long heritage of the authorities regarding the populace as dangerous children in need of firm guidance, constant policing, and being unworthy of the least degree of trust. Other than that, you are pretty much free here to do as you please.
3. Health Care. Employers aren't saddled with the bizarre and onerously expensive tradition (as in the USA) of being responsible for providing health insurance. Here, everyone automatically has basic health coverage provided by the government and it ends up being a lot cheaper for everyone, the taxpayers included, in the long and short run.
4. One Tax Return. In the USA you have to file in your state of residence AND with the feds. State, county and city governments all have taxation authority, and this leads to nonsensical confusion, duplication, stupidity, and waste. In Australia, local councils (cities and shires) can't levy taxes except for property rates which pays for garbage collection, fire brigades, libraries and other local services. On the down side, local councils can sometimes be rather silly. Take for example, the Shire of Cue, Western Australia. When there are less than 300 people living in an area bigger than Connecticut, there isn't a large pool of talent from which to draw your leaders. Then again, some would argue that on the balance this is a good thing. For the entertainment value at least.
5. Vast Wealth. For example one company, Fortescue Metals Group (ASX:FMG) owns an estimated 12 billion tons of iron ore, most of which is currently underneath Western Australia. At the current price (depressed by jittery markets) of about $130 per tonne, that means this one company is theoretically worth an absolute minimum of $1,500,000,000,000 dollars. That's $1.5 TRILLION!!!!!! My calculator values the company at something like $560 per share. It is currently trading below $5 per share. (NOTE: this is NOT financial advice. I am NOT licensed to give financial advice. Do NOT run out and buy stock in FMG. At least not until I've had a chance to load up my portfolio some more.)
6. Lamb. Most Americans don't like lamb, and for good reason. American lamb is terrible! But Australian lamb is one of the best things anywhere. It's the sort of experience that can make a would-be vegetarian say, "What was I thinking?" Broiled on the BBQ, slow-roasted, or just whack it in the slow-cooker in the morning before leaving the house. A bit of rosemary and garlic, or just on its own, lamb is lean, tender, flavorful but never gamey. The rest of the world could sink into an economic and ecological abyss (which will probably be Greece's fault), but Australia would still be able to feed and clothe itself in rather fine style.
7. Tim Minchin. Born and raised in Perth, Western Australia, Tim Minchin is a classically-trained pianist (among the best performers I've ever seen on the keys), a truly gifted songwriter, hilarious musical-comedy entertainer, social commentator, and Skeptic. Check him out on youtube.
And that's why Australia is better than where you live.
Some readers are concerned that I have been critical of Australia in past posts. Not so: I am merely enjoying the full extent of the humor that this odd place provides. But to assuage my many critics, here are just a few of the things that make Australia better than that dodgy place you've chosen to live.
Benefits of Australia:
1. Space. Consider, 0.3% of the world's population getting 4% of the world. Just under 23 million Australians share 3 million square miles. That's nearly the same population as Southern California, but in an area 53 times as big. We've got lots of elbow room! (Granted, large portions of it are uninhabitable crocodile-infested outback and the rest is covered in spiders, but I'm just saying, in theory we have that much space.)
2. Freedom. Starting your own business is relatively easy in Australia. Given the red tape, paperwork, restrictions, multiple layers of bureaucracy to wade through (city, county, state and federal) one encounters in the US, it's a miracle that any new businesses ever get going there at all. But in Australia, any reasonable person can set up a corporation, file the paperwork, and start an empire. This simplicity makes up for Australians being in other ways some of the most over-governed people on the planet with way more laws than are actually necessary. There is a widespread, unconscious belief that government holds the solution to every problem. Which, of course, is complete bollocks. There is also a long heritage of the authorities regarding the populace as dangerous children in need of firm guidance, constant policing, and being unworthy of the least degree of trust. Other than that, you are pretty much free here to do as you please.
3. Health Care. Employers aren't saddled with the bizarre and onerously expensive tradition (as in the USA) of being responsible for providing health insurance. Here, everyone automatically has basic health coverage provided by the government and it ends up being a lot cheaper for everyone, the taxpayers included, in the long and short run.
4. One Tax Return. In the USA you have to file in your state of residence AND with the feds. State, county and city governments all have taxation authority, and this leads to nonsensical confusion, duplication, stupidity, and waste. In Australia, local councils (cities and shires) can't levy taxes except for property rates which pays for garbage collection, fire brigades, libraries and other local services. On the down side, local councils can sometimes be rather silly. Take for example, the Shire of Cue, Western Australia. When there are less than 300 people living in an area bigger than Connecticut, there isn't a large pool of talent from which to draw your leaders. Then again, some would argue that on the balance this is a good thing. For the entertainment value at least.
5. Vast Wealth. For example one company, Fortescue Metals Group (ASX:FMG) owns an estimated 12 billion tons of iron ore, most of which is currently underneath Western Australia. At the current price (depressed by jittery markets) of about $130 per tonne, that means this one company is theoretically worth an absolute minimum of $1,500,000,000,000 dollars. That's $1.5 TRILLION!!!!!! My calculator values the company at something like $560 per share. It is currently trading below $5 per share. (NOTE: this is NOT financial advice. I am NOT licensed to give financial advice. Do NOT run out and buy stock in FMG. At least not until I've had a chance to load up my portfolio some more.)
6. Lamb. Most Americans don't like lamb, and for good reason. American lamb is terrible! But Australian lamb is one of the best things anywhere. It's the sort of experience that can make a would-be vegetarian say, "What was I thinking?" Broiled on the BBQ, slow-roasted, or just whack it in the slow-cooker in the morning before leaving the house. A bit of rosemary and garlic, or just on its own, lamb is lean, tender, flavorful but never gamey. The rest of the world could sink into an economic and ecological abyss (which will probably be Greece's fault), but Australia would still be able to feed and clothe itself in rather fine style.
7. Tim Minchin. Born and raised in Perth, Western Australia, Tim Minchin is a classically-trained pianist (among the best performers I've ever seen on the keys), a truly gifted songwriter, hilarious musical-comedy entertainer, social commentator, and Skeptic. Check him out on youtube.
And that's why Australia is better than where you live.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Travel Advisory Warning
If you plan to travel to Western Australia at any point, then there are some safety issues you should be aware of.
Obviously, in the water we're talking sharks, crocodiles, stonefish, jellyfish, and surfers. On land, there are wombats, mosquitos, various deadly spiders and snakes, scorpions, centipedes, and Aussie psychopaths. On the roads, there are kangaroos at night, "hoons," cops with speed cameras, and yet more Aussie psychopaths. There are also tourists like yourself driving on the wrong side of the road. Be sure to avoid them whenever you can.
Nothing new here, obviously. The same information is available on any reputable travel agent's web site. But there's one safety issue that they don't tell you about. There is a danger that visitors will almost certainly encounter, and probably the last thing they would ever expect to come face-to-face with.
Un-sliced hamburger buns.
That's right! It is a known fact that it is not possible to slice a hamburger bun without threat of serious injury to your person. The trick is to cut all the way through the soft bread and then stop just as the razor-sharp serrated knife comes in contact with the palm of your hand. If you can actually do this without drawing blood, then you are probably a woman.
In the USA, it is virtually impossible to purchase a hamburger bun that is not already pre-sliced for your picnic, camping, or entertaining convenience. Bakers of hamburger buns in America have discovered through decades of market testing that users of hamburger buns almost always want them to be sliced in half horizontally to facilitate the placing of a beef patty and various toppings between the halves. Brands of hamburger buns that were slow to adopt this innovation in the slicing department were shunned, ridiculed and sued by consumers of hamburger buns until their stock price plunged and the company went out of business. By this process of Darwinian improvement, we now have both the convenience and the SAFETY of hamburger buns that come already sliced right from the store.
But not in Western Australia. No - it's actually hard to find even one brand of hamburger bun here that is pre-sliced in the package. Bakeries here assume that customers want the OPTION of slicing their own buns (and their hands in the process), or perhaps they think some people prefer to place the meat and toppings under, over or next to a completely intact bun.
The chief mechanisms for product improvement (specifically: consumer outrage, lawsuits and ridicule) that work so well in the USA seem to be absent in Western Australia. Probably because for many products there is just one brand available. One choice, take it or leave it. And, Western Australians despise nothing so much as a complainer, whom they call whingers. As in, "You're a whinger. Stop your whinging, you whinger!"
Rather than complaining, they'd probably tell you to just click on the picture below and buy this safe and handy bagel slicer which, with some ingenuity, can be modified to work on hamburger buns as well:
Obviously, in the water we're talking sharks, crocodiles, stonefish, jellyfish, and surfers. On land, there are wombats, mosquitos, various deadly spiders and snakes, scorpions, centipedes, and Aussie psychopaths. On the roads, there are kangaroos at night, "hoons," cops with speed cameras, and yet more Aussie psychopaths. There are also tourists like yourself driving on the wrong side of the road. Be sure to avoid them whenever you can.
Nothing new here, obviously. The same information is available on any reputable travel agent's web site. But there's one safety issue that they don't tell you about. There is a danger that visitors will almost certainly encounter, and probably the last thing they would ever expect to come face-to-face with.
Un-sliced hamburger buns.That's right! It is a known fact that it is not possible to slice a hamburger bun without threat of serious injury to your person. The trick is to cut all the way through the soft bread and then stop just as the razor-sharp serrated knife comes in contact with the palm of your hand. If you can actually do this without drawing blood, then you are probably a woman.
In the USA, it is virtually impossible to purchase a hamburger bun that is not already pre-sliced for your picnic, camping, or entertaining convenience. Bakers of hamburger buns in America have discovered through decades of market testing that users of hamburger buns almost always want them to be sliced in half horizontally to facilitate the placing of a beef patty and various toppings between the halves. Brands of hamburger buns that were slow to adopt this innovation in the slicing department were shunned, ridiculed and sued by consumers of hamburger buns until their stock price plunged and the company went out of business. By this process of Darwinian improvement, we now have both the convenience and the SAFETY of hamburger buns that come already sliced right from the store.
But not in Western Australia. No - it's actually hard to find even one brand of hamburger bun here that is pre-sliced in the package. Bakeries here assume that customers want the OPTION of slicing their own buns (and their hands in the process), or perhaps they think some people prefer to place the meat and toppings under, over or next to a completely intact bun.
The chief mechanisms for product improvement (specifically: consumer outrage, lawsuits and ridicule) that work so well in the USA seem to be absent in Western Australia. Probably because for many products there is just one brand available. One choice, take it or leave it. And, Western Australians despise nothing so much as a complainer, whom they call whingers. As in, "You're a whinger. Stop your whinging, you whinger!"
Rather than complaining, they'd probably tell you to just click on the picture below and buy this safe and handy bagel slicer which, with some ingenuity, can be modified to work on hamburger buns as well:
Of course, another theory is that Western Australians really enjoy danger. They live here, after all. Some of them even by choice.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Fumigation of Diesel Engines
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This refers to the practice of allowing a small amount of
combustible gas (LPG, CNG, natural gas, etc.) into the air intake of a diesel
engine for the purpose of increasing engine output or otherwise improving
performance. In a sense, it’s like
adding a nitro kit to a race car, giving a quick jolt of extra power when it’s
needed.
It can be as simple as what some truck drivers have been
doing for many decades now: keeping a BBQ gas bottle in the cab with them, with
a rubber hose trailing under the hood and into the air intake. When they need a little extra oomph to get up
a steep grade, they crack open the valve just a bit. There are also conversion kits available in a
variety of price ranges that can be purchased on the internet, with all that that
implies.
Proponents also claim that in addition to increased engine
output, fumigation reduces pollutants in the exhaust. The questions are these: Does it work?
Does it harm the engine? Is it
cost-effective? And finally, Why don’t manufacturers already supply equipment
designed to use this technique?
Does It
Work?
Anecdotally, truckies that use fumigation insist that it
works. I can certainly see no reason why
adding extra fuel to the charge in a combustion cylinder would not result in an
increase in pressure and temperature. It
makes sense. Higher cylinder pressure
translates directly into greater force on the piston and therefore torque on
the driveshaft.
It is also conceivable that higher combustion temperatures might
result in the fuel being burned more completely, leading to lower hydrocarbon
emissions and less soot particulates in the exhaust. On the other hand, higher temperatures will
also undoubtedly lead to more nitrogen oxides (NOx) pollutants in the exhaust.
Test reports I’ve read aren’t as clear as the theory, and
show that it is a mixed bag. Under some
conditions, exhaust quality is improved across the board, while in others, it
is unchanged or even worse. Under ideal
and controlled conditions, the hydrocarbon and particulates can be reduced with
only a minimal increase in NOx. But that
result was mainly found on engines for which there was a lot of room for
improvement to begin with.
Does It Harm
Engines?
Short answer, yes.
Yes, it most definitely does. Higher torque and
higher combustion temperatures means that pressure in the combustion chamber
was, in a word, higher. That places
additional strain on the cylinder head, walls, piston connecting rod, bearings,
crankshaft, and on all the bolts holding the engine together. Diesel mechanics have reported to me seeing
stretched head bolts, bent con rods, wiped and scored main bearings, snapped crankshafts, holes burned through
pistons, and burnt valve seats. In other
words, over-fumigating a diesel engine will wreck it more thoroughly than
almost anything else you could do on purpose.
The tricky part is that it doesn’t always wreck the engine,
and not always right away. A diesel
engine is designed to produce a certain amount of torque, and so its components
are designed to withstand a certain maximum stress, plus a margin for
safety. Many older engines were
over-built, to be on the safe side. It
didn’t matter if they ended up being much heavier as a result. But newer engines are more optimized. Besides being cleaner-burning with lower emissions,
they are also lighter weight, which improves the fuel consumption and
performance. But it also means that
components are exactly as strong as they need to be, and not much more. Forcing the engine to produce more torque
than it was designed for is really asking for trouble.
Is it
cost-effective?
Truckies that use fumigation very moderately (so as not to blow
up their engines) say that the gas (LPG, CNG etc) replaces some of the diesel
fuel that the engine consumes. And since
gas is cheaper per MJ (energy unit) than diesel fuel, they end up saving a few
dollars per trip. I would point out that
they are probably running older equipment that leaves a lot of room for
improvement in the efficiency department.
In any case, I hope they are putting that money aside in an interest-bearing
account for when they need to buy a new engine. Knowing truckies, I’d say this is unlikely.
Why Don't Manufacturers Do This?
Since modern, advanced technology diesel engines are designed
for optimum performance, efficiency and low emissions, they don’t need extra bits. They are already fairly clean-burning, and
are producing about as much torque as they can without blowing up. To get more torque, an operator should select
a larger engine. After-market fumigation
systems, aside from definitely voiding the warranty, will risk ruining a
perfectly good engine.
The
Crackpot Zone
 |
| "Do thou something stupid for Mine amusement!" |
Ignoring all of the above, some operators out there say, “What
if you didn’t even need to BUY the gas?
What if you could generate the gas for free as you drive and save fuel, increase torque, etc etc?” The
idea is to use electrical current from the alternator, pass it through a water
cell, and produce hydrogen gas that is then sucked into the air intake.
One hustler actually told me that God told him to create
this product. Really? God said that? Well, I know God, and He’s a real
kidder. He was just winding you up, mate,
having a go at you for being so ignorant about science! He’s up there on His cloud laughing his beard
off at you right now.
I did the calculations on this a couple of years ago, and
followed it up by analysing test data from a prototype hydrogen gas generator. If
your alternator produces 10 amps at 13.5 volts, and if your electrolysis cell
is far, far more advanced than just a water bottle with a couple of wires stuck in it (most
internet offerings are exactly this) with anything close to optimum gas
production, then those 10 amps are going to produce something like 10 g/h of
H2 gas.
THAT'S TEN GRAMS PER HOUR!!!
But most likely the “gas cell” will not be producing
anything measureable. Sure, you will see
a few gas bubbles forming on the wires, but they will not represent anything
close to the amount of gas needed to make any difference whatsoever.
A diesel engine consuming something like 12 liters of fuel per hour is using around 10 kg or 10,000 grams of fuel per hour. Ten grams (or less!) of gas is not going to be even measurable in terms of engine output. Any effect will be purely “placebo effect.” Drivers will convince themselves that it’s making a difference because they don’t want to admit they’ve been scammed. And to prove that they are not victims of a con, they will email me all kinds of anecdotal evidence that the idea works.
Right.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Great Expectations
So in the checkout line at a grocery store, I picked up an inoffensive-looking plastic watch from one of those displays that preys on impulse-buyers like myself and handed over the amount shown on the price tag. It was twenty Swiss francs, the equivalent of about ten US dollars at the time.
It became virtually the only watch I owned and wore for the next fifteen years. The other day, now 2012, I put a new battery in it and fitted a new black leather strap so I could start wearing it again. For old time's sake I suppose.
I didn't have great expectations of it at the start, but I gradually came to appreciate the extraordinary quality and durability of this uncommon timepiece. It's 27 years old and works perfectly. Today I simply can't believe they were able to sell me this watch for next to nothing. Sure, it looks like just another a mass-market plastic throw-away watch, but how many watches do you own that say this on the back?
It says "PAT PEND MONDAINE WATCH LTD ZÜRICH." Mondaine normally makes the sort of high-end timepieces worn only by those individuals who are extremely committed to being on time for stuff.
Of the many watches I am lucky enough to own, this one if not the most attractive is the most special. It has seen me through most of the defining events in my life. It got me to most of my classes on time when I did four years of Physics at Arizona State University. I say "most" because once I was 20 minutes late for class after a physics lab involving alpha particles and magnetic fields. My watch seemed to be working normally, but was 20 minutes behind when it usually gains or loses no more than 0.5 second per day. So what happened?
Did I accidentally discover a time portal into the very near future involving alpha particles and magnets? The actual explanation is much more boring. Checking my lab notes, I found that the magnetic field I was working with had been switched on for a total of exactly 20 minutes. I hypothesized that the strong field had caused this watch to temporarily cease keeping time, and a subsequent experiment confirmed this to be the case.
After graduation, this watch accompanied me to various jobs, and eventually back to university for a Master's Degree. I was also wearing this watch from 3 AM to 3 PM on the Sunday that my son arrived, the most traumatizing twelve hours of my life. Because this timepiece has far exceeded my expectations, it makes me very happy. And there's the trap.
Are you waiting for something external to make you happy? Real happiness either comes from within or not at all. It is expectation that creates my unresolveable tension between the present situation that I can't change and what I ASSUMED being a father was going to mean. That tension, which is a form of stress, saps a person of energy, strength, health and new ideas. And it is entirely a product of thought, not of anything real.
Is it possible to change the way I have been conditioned to think, and thus make the unendurable tension vanish? Is it possible to let go of judgement and expectation, and simply allow things to be as they are? The pain in my heart is "bad" because I assume it isn't supposed to be there. Couldn't I just accept it, instead of slowly killing myself through resistance to it?
It's only the little voice inside that holds me back. It tries to tell me how others will judge me if I appear unstressed, unconcerned at a truly disgraceful situation. Few people would justify a mother intentionally taking a child 6000 miles away from a loving, caring father. Most people would be absolutely outraged to know that the child was influenced and encouraged to have no contact with his father. By that standard, I should be in a continual state of outrage 24/7.
And I easily could be. I would also be dead within 6 months from the stress.
Think of me then what you will, but I am changing my expectations of what fatherhood means. I'm just here, he's just there, and whatever happens, happens. I've done everything I can do. I have grieved the loss of my fathering life. It is time for me to move on.
It's good to know exactly what time it is, isn't it.
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