Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Politics Is Stupid

There seems to be yet another election coming up soon, as there so often seems to be.  Many people (okay, two) have asked me which candidate I plan to vote for.

Let's see . . . there's the incumbent who is intelligent, well educated, compassionate and progressive - all traits that the conservative republicans find repulsive and unforgivable.  There hasn't been this much vehement right-wing hatred and loathing of a sitting president since the last time a democrat occupied the White House.

And then there's the conservative challenger.  He's a religious family man with a successful business who actually understands what money is, where it comes from and what it's for.  These are traits that the liberal democrats find repulsive and unforgivable.  There hasn't been this much vehement left-wing hatred and loathing of a candidate since . . . since, let's see. . . probably since the last election.

So where do I stand?  Well, here's the thing.  A politician is not a person who cares anything about me, or about you.  Politicians do not care about your issues or about my issues.  They have no interest whatsoever in legalizing garden-gnome-marriage, or banning the environment, or whether or not we should fund birth-control for the endangered green-spotted gerbil-snail.  Politicians do not care about jobs, taxes, trade, or about that dodgy foreign country you sometimes read about in magazines.  Politicians are politicians because they care about one thing and one thing only.

Power.  The getting and keeping of it.

When you vote for a politician, you vote for giving power to someone who wants it, who craves it more than anything else.  And as Douglas Adams pointed out, someone who wants power that badly can under no circumstances be trusted with it.  You vote for these politicians time after time, America, and time after time you have been disappointed, have you not?  Admit it.  Doesn't anyone but me see the trend emerging?  That is why I cannot in good conscience support anyone who purports to be a politician.

"Okay, smart-ass, so what do you suggest we do?"

Fair enough. Anyone can complain, right?  But who offers solutions?

I do.  This is the solution:  Vote for whomever.  Doesn't matter - flip a coin if you really can't decide.  In the end it won't make a hill of beans difference.  When the "wrong" guy gets in, or even if the "right" guy wins but turns out to be a dud, and when the whole country goes to hell in a handkerchief, here's what you do:

Turn off the TV news.  Your life goes back to normal!

Eventually, people will get tired of this meaningless charade, this fake "democracy."  Sooner or later it will all fall in a heap under its own ponderous, quivering bulk and it will be time for some changes.

For your convenience, should you or a nation you know encounter a "quivering heap event" or QHE, simply follow these easy steps for rebuilding society:

Step 1:  The Jury-Duty model of leadership.  Heads of State and other officials are chosen at random from the population for 6 - 12 month terms.  This dispenses with the huge waste of time and money we facetiously call "elections" and makes public office completely incorruptible.  People chosen at random are statistically guaranteed to be no more evil or incompetent on average than those potential Hitlers who now actively seek power for their own inscrutable ends.

Step 2: The Social-Media model of democratic governance.  With communication and transport being what it was in the 18th century when nothing moved faster than the Speed of Horse, electing representatives was a necessary evil, a compromise of practicality.  But with modern technology, such as The Telegraph, The Wireless, The Horse-less Carriage and other such modern inventions, why do we saddle ourselves (har!) with outmoded systems of government that we no longer need?

Why not throw off this fake democracy in which we vote for our favorite TV celebrity and bicker endlessly about which one of two middle-aged men we despise least (two men chosen for us by the Powers That Be, by the way)?  Maybe our civilization is mature enough for real democracy, in which the Voice of the People directly makes all decisions of real consequence.

Wait a minute . . . Mature?  Civilization?  Yes, I see your point.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Winter Wonderland

It is now August and the height of the Southern Hemisphere winter.  Well, it was when I started writing this post.  It's actually September now.  So sue me.

Winter in topsy-turvy Australia means that Bindoon looks something like this:

One notices, if one looks closely at the above photograph, the peculiar absence of snow, ice, or frozen water crystals of any kind whatsoever. This anomaly can be explained by the fact that the temperature is about 70 F.

The hills and pastures of Bindoon, Western Australia are as green as anyone could wish at the moment.  WA's winter is better than some countries' actual summer.  At the Shed, too, we find a Winter Wonderland consisting mainly of wildflowers and bees.

Bindoon is a cattle and citrus area, and is particularly known for its excellent Mandarins. And this has given me an idea.  As anyone knows who has studied the film, The World's Fastest Indian, no shed can be complete without its own lemon tree.  If the whole world's economy collapses and I am somehow reduced to surviving at the Shed, it would be rather embarrassing to be done in by something as ignominious and preventable as Scurvy.  Therefore:

One Lemon Tree.  In planting this tree I was ably assisted by this small black centipede.  Though perhaps "ably assisted" is not 100% on the mark.  Perhaps I should say "not significantly hindered" which amounts to more or less the same thing.