Friday, January 13, 2012

Educating Australia's Children. With Slogans!

For reasons I won't go into here, I've been staring at the logos and school mottoes of a lot of different schools lately.  They are seen on the uniforms that almost every Australian child must wear, screen-printed onto a tee-shirt in the case of government and low-rent private schools, or embroidered onto snazzy wool blazers in the case of your more exclusive private schools.  Most are the products of design-by-committee, in particular the type of free-thinking, revolutionary committee dedicated to the visionary cause of not offending anybody ever.    Although one catchy design featured a cleverly drawn bat and a redback spider.  A boys' school, obviously.  The mottoes are usually along the lines of "A Commitment to Courtesy" or "Passing The Time Together."

But this particular design caught me off guard, and caused a minor argument (a very, very limited armed regional conflict, actually) about what it was.  You see, the following is a photograph of an actual Kangaroo Tick, an eight-legged blood-sucking parasite:

Kangaroo Tick.

And this is the logo of a certain Australian school located in a suburb near Perth:

Kangaroo Tick?

To my mind it is a representation (although poorly drawn) of something that clearly has eight legs and bears a more than passing resemblance to a blood-sucking parasite.  Just what are they teaching the children, I wonder?

But I was shouted down by those present on this occasion, all of whom claimed that it was really a Banksia cone, and I was looking at it upside down.

My contention was that the motto gives it away: "Friends Growing Together."  Clearly the authors are referring to the fact that a tick is like a little friend that grows and grows while burrowing its head into your flesh.  My opponents contended that a Banksia flower grows also, and has the added advantage of not being a completely disgusting and horrible parasite.

Banksia flower. I personally don't see the resemblance.

This is the type of Rorschach test that demonstrates once again that what we see has much more to do with what's behind our eyes than what's before them.

-    -    -

In any event, the following are some of the school mottoes I have recently come across.  I swear I am totally not making any of these up (except maybe a little).

Preparing Children for Future Disappointment.

Where Self-Expression is Complusary  (a government school)

Learning to Love The Love of Learning Love. (a Montessori school)

Obey The Nuns.  (self-explanatory)

West Sydney Community School:  Teachers Telling Children What To Do All Day.

How About a Little Respect Here for the Teachers' Union (government school in a Labour electorate)

Sitting Quietly at our Desks for Christ's Sake  (a Christian school)

Excellence - Achievement - Status  (an Exclusive private school)

Nepotism - Graft - Corruption  ( a Very Exclusive private school)
This COULD be the logo of almost any primary school.

A Big Bunch of Children  (a school where the staff have pretty much given up)

Learning to Judge One Another  (a Methodist school)

"I Went to Meekatharra Primary School and All I Got Was This T-Shirt"

Innaloo Primary School.  We'd Change The Name if They'd Let Us.  (The suburb of Innaloo really exists - I did not make it up)

Mansion Hills Estates Private College.  If You Have to Ask, You Can't Afford It.

Diversity Through Conformity.  (another PC government school)

Back To Basics:  Reading, Writing, and Understanding Welfare Department Procedures

Wendsleytondaleshire Acadamy.  Your Parents Probably Work for Our Parents.

Children Are Your Future, Retirement is Our Future.

Building a Future Wastewater Plant Together  (an alternative school where children learn by doing)

"Does a Motto Cost Extra"

A School that Contains Creativity and Fun  (could be read two ways - think about it)

If you are ever in charge of coming up with your school's motto, remember that you cannot disguise the truth.  People like me will see straight through it.


No comments:

Post a Comment